*A Brief Intelude to My Florida Story*(tune in this weekend to hear how we were almost kicked out of a Pensacola bar)
Yes...My Name is Leman and I am a bad kisser. I have gone my whole life without realizing this...that is until this morning. My latest venture into the world of relationships was a brief tryst to say the least, ending as quickly as it begin. Needless to say these type of things tend to leave one with questions that usually go unanswered, such as the proverbial question "What happened?" or "What went wrong?", ah but luckily for me...this time that was not the case!
Turns out that I am a bad kisser and that is what put the whole kibosh on our relationship! Ya it was hard for me to believe too...what with my excellent track record and zero complaints in this department before. So when this bomb was dropped on me this morning, via text message of course, I ran the predictable gamet of emotional responses:
Denial: I thought to myself "That's not true. This girl is just upset with herself for cheating on her fiancée with me and is trying to deflect her own feelings of remorse by lying to me to try to tear me down and make herself feel better...after all what does a 19 year old know anyway!" Followed by the classic childish response "I'm not a bad kisser YOU are!"
Anger: This came hand in hand with, and may have arrived just a little before, Denial. Sure she was just trying to be honest and had only the best intentions in mind by telling me this...she was just trying to be a good friend. But after all it was an insult. How DARE she tell me this! What good did it do? She had to have said it only to try to hurt me...this made me Angry.
Rationalizing: I let Anger simmer a bit and then began to think "Ok...maybe she is right...maybe this one time I was not at the top of my game. Ya that's it! I was just off! After all I was nervous because I was really into her and the added pressure on me do to the fact that she was engaged to be married within a month must have effected me in a negative way. It was a one time thing."
Depression: Soon after trying to rationalize it I realized I was trying to fool myself...she was right...why would she lie to me about something like that..."Welcome To The Party Depression!"
Finally...Acceptance: After a short stay Depression left the party and I was able to come to terms with myself...and like all 12 step roads to recovery or improvement, to gain acceptance you must first admit the problem to yourself...
But do not worry my friends! I will beat this thing and overcome my problem! Practice makes perfect as they say and the silver lining is that because of this I plan on honing my kissing skills at every opportunity in hopes of bettering myself as a person. After all what do I have to lose! The only way to go from here is up right?
"My name is Leman and I'm a bad kisser."
i believe my response would be- "your fiance is a lucky man"
ReplyDeleteLets look at the evidence:
ReplyDeleteA.She's 19.
B.She's engaged.
C.She texted you to break it off?!
Conclusion: She's a moron.
Anyone under the age of 25, male or female, have no clue what they want or what they like.
A bad kisser in a relationship is like getting drunk on cheap wine. Eventually it taste the same as the $100 bottle and hurts 3 times as much when you stop drinking.
I went out with a girl who I hated kissing we first dated, she eventually got better or I got use to it. Either way I didn't care cause she had other great qualities.
Lastly, one person's bad kissing is another person's top 5. Unless you have bad halitosis, that's can't be fixed and no one like that.
Lucio! Still as sharp as ever! Damn we need to hang out and catch up!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say she is a moron. Just conflicted maybe and there's nothing wrong with that...to an extent we all are.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she is so use to kissing someone who cant really kiss...so when you gave her the kiss of her life she didnt know what to think...so she thought your kiss was the bad kiss...because we all know us Saunders can kiss!!!!
ReplyDelete