Freddie Mercury is Alive & Well Tending Bar in Florida

It's hard to believe I know.  History tells us that Freddie Mercury, the lead singer for the rock band Queen, die an AIDs related death in 1991.  Up until my trip to Florida and a Saturday night spent at McGuire's Irish Pub in Pensacola I had no reason to doubt this version of history.  However, after I left the bar that night I knew Freddie Mercury, much like Elvis, is not dead!  He is alive and well and tending bar in Florida...

We left the apartment and headed for the famed McGuire's Irish Pub for a night of celebration and debauchery.  Craig still dressed in his navy blues and Danae still sporting her wedding dress.

We arrived and walked in...two words...Fire Hazard...my initial thought regarding this famous bar/eatery was "The owner must be in good with the fire chief and police department" because people were crammed in there like cords of wood waiting to be seated...including of our wedding party of 20.  The walls and ceiling of the pub were lined with dollar bills, they claim over a million of them, if the people were the wood then this was no doubt the kenneling.  Maneuvering around the place I was able to find a waitress and order a round of drinks for David, Craig, Danae and myself...which I told the waitress David was paying for...a classic move that worked!  Danae had some girlie mixed drink while us guys braved the froth and the foam of McGuire's own brand of Irish Stout...DELICIOUS!  I stuck with it all night!

Amazingly enough we were sat relatively fast.  Our waiter bore a striking resemblance to Willow Ufgood (* a note here...some of you may notice that I make references to some out of date or seemingly obscure things...if you find yourself asking "Who is Willow Ufgood" or "Who is Freddie Mercury"...it's called Google).  Some of the highlights on the menu included a $100 hamburger called the Grand Burger as well as a thing called a Garbage Burger that was said to include everything that was in the kitchen on it.  I went with steak and more of the stout...we all ate and drank and were having a great time...including the new bride Danae...you see Danae had always been our DD when we went out and this was one of the rare times she was able to let loose and actually join in the drinking with us.

We all finished eating and took our party to the bar area...

Danae had been drinking all night with no problem despite leaving her ID at home...after all who's going to refuse a newly wed in her wedding dress...I'll tell you who...the bar tender in the other part of the pub...who bore a striking resemblance to a mustachioed Freddie Mercury...that's who!

Craig and Danae bellied up to the bar and someone had ordered them shots, the bar tender, upon learning Danae did not have an ID told her she couldn't drink the shot or sit at the bar...which would have been fine with everyone except Ol' Freddie decided to make a big scene out of it...talking in an overly loud flamboyant voice and waving his arms around demanding she leave the bar.  Well her shot sat there untouched...after some time had past and after carefully studying the bar tender and his movements I picked up the shot while he wasn't looking and took it over to Danae, seemingly out of sight, and she drank it.  No sooner than that shot of whiskey had passed her gums who do you think was jumping down her throat yelling and raising all sorts of hell...Freddie Mercury...how in the hell he saw us is beyond me...but there he stood right between us yelling in Danae's face and threating to throw us all out of the place...making a HUGE scene out of it.  A manager had to come over and send him back to the bar and talked with Danae a while...she was pretty cool about it...but I sure wasn't!  The gall of that guy!  There were 100 better ways to handle the situation.  

A few of us were standing close by the bar talking about the whole ordeal, not being loud about it but talking about it with a few choice words and opinions about Freddie just the same...well he could sense we were talking about him and he turned around from his cash registrar behind the bar yelling at us and saying "I can hear everything you've been saying about me..." going into another tirade and being a HUGE drama QUEEN about it.  I was about to unleash on this guy but Craig, who is a very rational type of person, jumped in, cutting me off before I got started, and calmly talked to Freddie and told him we wouldn't bother him anymore.  

Fearing we were about to get thrown out and possibly arrested because of drama Queen Freddie Mercury...we tabbed out (left zero tip of course), called a taxi and called it a night...at about 11pm...we are shells of our former drinking selves!

Back at the apartment, still steaming from what had happened at the bar, I cracked open a can of snuff I had bought as a joke on our drive down.  You see David challenged me to take a pinch...given the state of mind I was in I was not going to be challenged and back down from it...so I took a small pinch and tucked it into my lip...I had never dipped before...and never will again!  The very nice buzz I had going from drinking turned into the dizzy staggers in a matter of minutes...I SERIOUSLY COULD NOT WALK!  Soon after I threw up...which left me asking "How in the hell can people play baseball while doing this stuff"!

Another late night phone call from the hospital girl prevented sleep for an hour or so...not sure if I'm an advocate for late night phone calls when one has been drinking heavily but I digress...

Sunday morning came and David and I got in the car and headed back to Texas around 8am...12 hours later we were back at David's house...our journey to Florida over...